The Teahouse

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bishonenink


Ryou of the Wildfire / Rekka no Ryou / Sanada Ryou 真田遼


DoB: August 15, 1973 (Leo)
Bloodtype: O
Likes & Dislikes: Likes Whack-a-Mole, Dislikes Italian Ice.
Hometown: Yamanashi, Yamanashi Prefecture
Sure-Kill: Flare up now / Sou En Zan (Later, Rage of Inferno)
Virtue: 仁 - Jin/Righteousness
Weapon: Double Katana
Element: Fire
Name Trivia: Though Ryou is descended from a ninja clan, his surname is probably a reference to to Sanada Yukimura, a historical samurai famous for his heroics and red armor. (Even better, Takeshi Kusao is Sanada Yukimura in the Samurai Warriors / Sengoku Musou games, and will be reprising his role for the 2015 anime).
Voice: Matt Hill / Takeshi Kusao
Info: Ryou's mother is pre-dead for your convenience; his father is a wildlife photographer and is often away on assignments. Ryou's skills include blaming himself for everything, crying a lot, denting asphalt, thinking he's blind because his eyes are closed, and shouting "no way" with varying levels of conviction. He's not very good at social interaction or expressing himself, probably because he was raised by a tiger. Naturally, he's the one in charge. (God help these poor bastards.) White Blaze sticks by him mostly to keep the poor boy from wandering out into traffic.
bishonenink headcanon: Ryou has a bad habit of melting things when stressed. Usually remote controls.

Rowen of the Strata / Tenkuu no Toma / Hashiba Toma 羽柴当麻


DoB: October 10, 1973 (Libra)
Bloodtype: AB
Likes & Dislikes: Likes archery and playing shogi and other board games, not a fan of Osaka-style comedy.
Hometown: Hirakata, Osaka Prefecture.
Sure-Kill: Arrow Shock Wave / Shinku Ha
Virtue: 智 - Chi/Wisdom (changed to Life in the original run)
Weapon: Bow
Element: Air (alternately, metal)
Name Trivia: The great daimiyo Toyotomi Hideyoshi originally used Hashiba as his surname, though it is no longer in use as a family name in Japan. (Sorry Rowen! That's what you get for living at 1234 Fake Street, Anytown Japan!)
Voice: Ward Perry / Hiroshi Takemura
Info: Rowen's father is a scientist, his mother is a reporter. They're divorced, so like Ryo, Rowen is something of a latch-key kid. He didn't have a lot of friends growing up, because he's a humongous nerd and his dad was more interested in people who'd been dead for hundreds of years. The unchallenged brains of this outfit, his IQ is reportedly 250. Somehow this also means that the minute he gets to a murder scene he thinks it's a good idea to pull the weapon out of the body with his bare hand, and then stand around like an idiot until someone sees him. Apparently he has trouble getting up in the morning because of 'low blood pressure,' but in this case 'low blood pressure' means 'habitually staying up until 2 AM playing tetris while eating endless bowls of fruitloops.'
bishonenink headcanon: He's not a natural blue, but he sure works hard to make it look like he is.

Sage of Halo / Kourin no Seiji / Date Seiji 伊達征士


DoB: June 9, 1973 (Gemini)
Bloodtype: B
Likes & Dislikes: Predictably, he likes swords and kendo. Unpredictably, he also likes racecars. (And also pumpkins? Like... as a snack, or...aesthetically? ...maybe better not to ask.)* Also, due to his upbringing, girls stress him out. He hates lies and deception.
Hometown: Sendai, Miyagi Prefecture
Sure-Kill: Thunderbolt Cut / Rai Ko Zan
Virtue: 礼 - Rei/Courtesy (Also translated as Grace, it was changed to Wisdom in the original run.)
Weapon: No-dachi (two-handed sword)
Element: Light (alternately, wood)
Name Trivia: Sage is named after Date Masamune, a famous samurai from Sendai. Sage's hairdo is a nod to the fact that Masamune only had one eye.
Voice: Michael Donovan / Daiki Nakamura
Info: The only son in his highly traditional family, Sage grew up sandwiched in between a bunch of sisters. Also, when he was a kid his grandfather thought it would be a good idea to dress Sage as a girl, supposedly because girls are easier to raise. (Really, we all know grandpa Date was too cheap to buy boy clothes.) One time he drove Mia's car around Tokyo in spite of the fact that he was patently underage. Sage is a kendo champion, his eyes are canonically terrifying, he's reserved to the point of being aloof, and he talks like an extra from a samurai drama. It's a miracle he's got any friends at all.
bishonenink headcanon: His father is actually an American who married into the Date family, in spite of resistance from Sage's grandparents.(Sage is a natural blond.)
*Japanese kabocha are green, and their blossoms are the yellow color of Sage's hair. They're popular for tempura.

Sai (Cye) of the Torrent / Suiko no Shin / Mouri Shin 毛利伸


DoB: March 14, 1973 (Pisces)
Bloodtype: A
Likes & Dislikes: Sai likes cooking, though whether he's willing to cook his fishy friends is a mystery.
Hometown: Hagi, Yamaguchi Prefecture
Sure-Kill: Super Wave Smasher / Chou Ryu Ha
Virtue: 信 - Shin/Trust or Faith
Weapon: Trident/Mancatcher (often used in the manner of a naginata, to slit enemies in half from groin to scalp. And he's the nice one.)
Element: Water
Name Trivia: Named for Mouri Motonari specifically, but the Mouri Samurai were historically known for their victories in naval combat.
Voice: Michael Donovan / Nozomu Sasaki
Info: Sai is the oldest of the five, and in many ways serves as their conscience. Sai was raised by his mother, a famous potter, and he also has a much older sister. As the most reluctant fighter, he does better when he's fighting to defend someone or something else than when he's fighting to defend himself. Kento's his best friend, and they often team up. Like many water signs, he is lovely and kind and sweet and sensitive and he will stone cold fucking cut you if you get in his way. No lie.
bishonenink headcanon: Eventually he follows in his mother's footsteps to become a potter, but only after he gains a new understanding for earth. (read: Kento.) Also, he has family in the UK, which is why his English accent is so... odd.

Kento of Hardrock / Kongo no Shuu / Shuu Rei Faun 秀麗黄 (Xiu Li Huang)


DoB: September 1, 1973 (Virgo)
Bloodtype: O
Likes & Dislikes: Kento likes eating (but not konyaku jelly) and playing video games.
Hometown: Yokohama, Kanagawa Prefecture
Sure-Kill: Iron Rock Crusher / Gan Tessai
Virtue: 義 - Gi/Justice
Weapon: Spiked staff similar to a kanabo with a naginata blade at one end; it separates into three chained segments.
Element: Earth
Name Trivia: Kento's family is Chinese, so he doesn't have an obvious tie-in samurai. (In many ways, he's the token ethnic guy.)
Voice: Jason Gray-Stanford / Tomohiro Nishimura
Info: Kento's (large) family owns a restaurant in Yokohama Bay, and he's also the richest of the five, even before winning the lottery. Also, he's known Rowen since childhood. (They're the only two to know each other beforehand, and took the train to the first battle together.) Kento's the comic relief and the muscle, and ha ha he's constantly eating (probably because idek he's fifteen or something), that's hilarious. Though often dismissed as the dumb one, Kento's the first one to cotton on to the fact that there might be something dodgy going on with this armor stuff, and maybe a service agreement would have been a good idea. Also: sweetheart, good looks, fucking loaded. Someone marry this guy.
bishonenink headcanon: He likes playing guitar in his downtime, and he's the one to ask if you need a massage.


Mia Koji / Nasti Yagyu 柳生ナスティ


DoB: May 28, 1970
Bloodtype: AB
Voice: Lalainia Lindbjerg / Kaori Kusakabe
Info: A French/Japanese expat, Mia works as her grandfather's university research assistant and serves variously as the heroes' mom, driver, cook, landlady, exposition vehicle, rescue object, babysitter, researcher, and sanity check. Though often shunted over because she's a giiiiirl, the fact remains that without her these idiots would still be stuck in volcanoes and/or space. Or dead. Probably dead.
bishonenink headcanon: Does eventually marry Ryou. Does eventually learn to kick ass with a naginata. Eventually does lots of things that the show has no time for because there is silly armor to wear and world-saving to do.


Yuli (Ully) / Jun Yamano 山野 純


DoB: June 30, 1979
Bloodtype: O
Voice: Christopher Turner / Kumiko Watanabe
Info: An eight year-old chibi at the time of the series, Yuli gets caught up with the warriors when his parents (along with most of the population of Shinjuku) are abducted by Arago. Ronin Sidekick and Mia's fellow rescue object, Yuli has the purity of heart that eventually saves the day yadda yadda yadda so this one time Ryou slaps the fuck out of this kid and you can't really blame him. But for all that, Yuli keeps his shit together pretty admirably over the course of the series, considering he's supervised by a tiger 99% of the time and people are dying all around him.
bishonenink headcanon: Full name is actually Jun Ulysses Yamano. (His dad's a history buff.) A psychic of no small talent, though it's unpredictable until he's older. Grows up hot and super smart (to the chagrin of all the others) and then inherits armor of his own, hooks up with a warlord, and basically makes out like a goddamn bandit. Because he deserves it. Also, wears five small trooper-colored beads in his hair.



The Ancient / Kaos 迦雄須


Info: Obi-wan Kenobi in a Buddhist monk outfit. Centuries ago he kicked Arago's ass, but he's gotten kind of lazy since then and doesn't want to do it again. He made the armors--because he couldn't see the point of letting a good suit of giant evil armor go to waste when he could upcycle it and sell it on etsy--then made a bunch of teenaged boys wear it in a certain deathmatch against his old enemy. Slings a staff around and gives cryptic messages in dreams instead of just walking up to these poor kids to tell them what the hell is going on. Only apologizes once when they're mostly dead. Kaos is kind of a dick, is what I'm saying.
bishonenink headcanon: Actually Arago's twin brother! (And then Ninjago went and stole our totally original idea.)


White Blaze / Byakkuen 白炎


Info: A tiger. Ryou's animal friend carries the Ronins and Yuli all over creation, and eventually gets a set of sweet tiger armor solely so he can also haul Ryou's swords around for him. Because that's what you do with a proud, rare animal: use it as a horse/suitcase. Also he makes a noise like a train when he runs. Possibly he is full of loose ball bearings.
bishonenink headcanon: He is going to eat every one of these morons.


Anubis, Dark Warlord of Cruelty / Oni Masho Sh'ten Douji 鬼魔将 朱天童子


DoB: May 5, 1551 (Taurus)
Bloodtype: A
Likes & Dislikes: Dislikes beans. Perhaps he was assaulted by one as a child.*
Hometown: Yamashiro (Kyoto)
Sure-Kill: Quake With Fear / Ko Rai Sen - Red Lightning Slash
Virtue: 忠 - Chuji/Loyalty
Weapon: kusari-gama (sickle and chain)
Season: Spring
Name Trivia: His human name was Toshitada Koma.
Voice: Paul Dobson / Kiyoyuki Yanada
Info: Arago's favorite warlord, and the youngest. When spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler, Spoiler. Spoiler spoiler-spoiler; spoiler spoiler spoilery spoiler. Spoiler spoiler spoil spoilpants (just watch the damn show).
bishonenink headcanon: We always refer to the warlords by their Japanese names, not for snobby reasons, but just to keep it from being so frigging confusing.
* The legendary oni Shuten-dōji (Sh'ten's namesake) doesn't like beans either, and during the Setsubun festival, beans are thrown in a ritual to keep demons away. So that's probably why he doesn't like them. Conversely, they could just make him gassy.

Dais, Dark Warlord of Illusion / Gen Masho Rajura 幻魔将 螺呪羅


DoB: September 19, 1549 (Virgo)
Bloodtype: B
Hometown: Musashi (Tokyo)
Sure-Kill: Web of Deception / Touchimou - Throw Spiderweb
Virtue: 忍 - Nin/Endurance
Weapon: Six kama, or hand-scythes, and various projectile weapons.
Season: Summer
Name Trivia: His human name was Kuroda Jiragorou
Voice: Matt Smith / Jūrōta Kosugi
Info: Rajura's missing eye is covered with a patch made out of cobwebs. Unfortunately, you can't often see this detail in the anime.
bishonenink headcanon: The only one who can't see Rajura's illusions is Rajura himself.

Sekhmet, Dark Warlord of Venom / Doku Masho Naaza 毒魔将 那唖挫


DoB: October 8, 1550 (Libra)
Bloodtype: AB
Hometown: Satsuma (Kagoshima)
Sure-Kill: Snake Fang Strike / Moetsu Orochi - Six Segment Serpent
Virtue: 悌 - Tei/Obedience
Weapon: Six katana
Season: Summer
Name Trivia: His human name was Yamanouchi Naotoki.
Voice: Ward Perry / Issei Futamata
Info: Naaza's unusual appearance is widely considered to be due to the fact that he's part snake.
bishonenink headcanon: Post series, he lends his skills to his allies--as a healer.

Cale, Dark Warlord of Corruption / Yami Masho Anubisu 闇魔将 悪奴弥守


DoB: December 3, 1550 (Sagittarius)
Bloodtype: O
Hometown: Mutsu (Aomori)
Sure-Kill: Black Lightning Slash /Ankoku Chohigiri - Darkness Leaping Slash
Virtue: 孝 - Kou/Piety (lit. respect for elders. He was switched with Naaza in the dub and got Obedience.)
Weapon: No-dachi
Season: Winter
Name Trivia: His human name was Sasaki Kyujuro.
Voice: Richard Newman / Yasunori Matsumoto
Info: For some reason in the dub, they knew they wanted a bad guy named Anubis, but not the bad guy actually named Anubis. That's why it's been hell keeping these guys straight for the past twenty years. Thanks a lot, Ocean Group!
bishonenink headcanon: In his mortal life, he was a Christian samurai, and paid for his faith with the scar on his face.

Lady Kyra / Kayura 迦遊羅


DoB: December 12, 1559
Bloodtype: A
Sure-Kill: Star Sword Scream / Ran Sei Zan - Star Sword Cut
Virtue: Never revealed. At one point in the manga, it's implied that it's Love (Ai). But ahaha that's totally like something someone would write in a self-insert fanfic, right? ^_^;;;; AHEM MOVING ON
Weapon: Twin sai
Voice: Jane Perry / Masako Katsuki
Info: The second season main antagonist, she steps in to repeatedly hand the Ronins their asses, show what incredible losers the Masho are, and also to provide a little bit of T&A. Which wouldn't be required if Mia would wear something other than that horrible shorts and cardigan combo. The eighties were kind to no one but come on.
bishonenink headcanon: Oh, it's spoilers as far as the eye can see. Let's just say she keeps the warlords toeing the line.


Talpa / Demon Emperor Arago 妖邪帝王・阿羅醐


Voice: Mina Mina / Shigezō Sasaoka
Info: The Big Bad. For some reason, in the dub, he sounds like a demented Irish Pirate. I mean we're talking Barbossa, here. Spends most of his time as a floating head, which could explain why he's so cranky. Also, dude just wants his stuff back. That armor really tied the room together.
bishonenink headcanon: Maybe he is an Irish Pirate.

He must have liked the hat
Shuten's English voice actor is also the voice for Sensei Wu in Ninjago. He's not the only RW actor either--Luna's actress is Lloyd.